Christmas dinner :
Aye, just before Christmas past we were invited up to a dinner dance type affair up in Portrush and I have to say the craic was indeed mighty.
Unfortunately we misinterpreted the instructions for our attire for the meal. We were told Hawaiin shirts...but we heard this as Fancy dress.
So we all kitted up in our best African gear and got boot polish and 'fros and everything. We were looking fiiiine. a few of us even smelled fine too. The we arrived in the pub and all these old geezers with pipes an' all just dribbled and stared at us, so if we hadn't had a carryout on the way up we would surely have had the place aglow with our newly reddened flesh. The night ensued with copious amounts of beer and other alcohol-filled drinks. The meal wasn't too bad either and Johnny our main man had to make a speech about something....I think it was about him looking like Eagle-eye Cherry....maybe.
So we had a disco after it and we showed the people from Coleraine and Portrush how to breakdance properly in a 'fro.
First, lie on the floor with your head resting on the ground.
Secondly, get an invisible mate (or one who thinks he's invisible will do) and get him to grab your legs, lifting them up high and running in a circle.
Lastly, try not to barf or fall.
Simple and effective relief for breakdance ignorance.
Loads of other things happened as they do on nights like these, but I can't think of anyway I could possibly type them in without breaking several laws of English grammar and English policing law too for that matter.